Do you ever have recurring dreams?  Not just the "bonking Clive Owen " or "mud wrestling with Eva Mendes " kind of dream... but the "holy cow.... how frigging spooky I had that dream again" kinda dream??? I've been having a dream like that for a few weeks now.. and not the bonking Clive Owen after mud wrestling with Eva Mendes dream either.... though it is leaving me all hot and sweaty.

The dream I keep having... the one that leaves me feeling as though I have gone three rounds with Clive and Eva... but without the satisfaction at the end... involves me spending what seems like an eternity climbing a really steep cliff... helping and encouraging people along the way.... and then... finally... just as I get to the top... I turn round to look at the view.... and promptly fall off the cliff.  Now I never know whether I fall to my "death".... or whether I fall only a few feet.... but the feeling I get when I reach that "falling" part in the dream really makes me think that it's not just a short drop... because the wind is rushing passed me... and when I wake up I feel almost breathless.  And I ALWAYS wake up before I find out how long the drop is. 

I KNOW its all a bit daft... and I KNOW its just a dream... but yanno the thing I don't kno.... why the hell I keep having it.  For quite a long time I used to have a recurring dream where I was moving in slow motion whilst everyone around me was moving really fast.  I haven't had that dream for a couple of years now... but I still feel uneasy when I think about it... mainly because I used to feel so sick and nauseous when I woke from the dream that I would stay awake so that I wouldn't fall back to sleep in case the dream carried on or started again.  I never figured out what the dream meant... not bothering to find out what people thought of it because I don't hold much credence to "dream interpretations".... they're a bit like horoscopes as far as I'm concerned.

I wonder what drives our dreams.  What underlying worries... joys or concerns or thoughts shape what we think about when sleeping.  Dreams are weird..  I had one a few weeks back where it wasn't until the very end of the dream.. when I was given some bad news about my Mother... that I realised I was actually HB in the dream.  Now was it a dream designed to make me think about what would happen to HB if something sad or tragic happened to me?  Was it designed to remind me to make sure my life polices were all ok... (which I actually did) or was it just some dramatic dream driven by watching a soppy movie (Step Mom).  *shrugs*... I dunno.....

I tell you a dream I used to have as well... and one which came back to me with a vengance yesterday... I used to dream I had my throat cut... (sorry if that's a bit graphic but it's just the way the dream went).  I would have my throat cut... and.. whilst lying face down on the floor I would look up at the pool of blood around me and try to scoop it back towards me.  It would be fruitless... the  fluid always making it's way across the floor no matter how hard I tried to gather it around me... and yesterday... whilst describing the four hour training session I had to go through... that was the best metaphor (?) I could come up with.  It felt as though in those four hours yesterday morning my life blood and will to live was just flowing out of me it was THAT FUCKING BORING!!!!!!  In fact it was so boring we set up a "Hot Training Guy Watch".. making notes of when the particularly Hot Training Guy did anything slightly interesting.  Sadly after removing his jacket at 9.50 (I just checked my notes) and then removing his tie at 10.10... nothing else was removed.. despite me writing on my notepad.. in a more hopeful way than anything remotely academic (I needed to look like I was taking notes) this list...

Neither myself or Barbie were particularly impressed that our little show ended at 10.10 with the removal of the tie.  It really was very warm and he should have at least took his shirt off too... we would have paid attention... honest.

There's no hope is there really???  I've decided that unless I REALLY start to pay attention in these training lessons I'm going to arrive at LLF with absolutely no knowledge whatsoever of the file management system but full knowledge of where every line and dimple is on Hot Training Guy's Face.  OH... I really should pass this on as well to all would be Lecturers who want to be taken seriously.... do not... when faced with a room of women aged between 20 and 45 *coughs* no I'm not one of the "older" ladies.. its a vicious rumour *coughs* who singularly have more rampant hormones oozing out of them than a class full of teenage girls faced with a hot surfer...  EVER turn your back on them and lean over the desk to click the mouse for the Power Point Presentation... cos once you do that there isn't one damn woman in that room paying attention to ANYTHING else apart from your ass....

On that note... I'm off to hoover the stairs... it's the only hose action I'm getting lately....