Eight years ago I pitched up at "The Firm" to go to lunch with my friend Ju.... 20 minutes later I was temping for them for a couple of weeks whilst they found a new receptionist.  Eight years later... I was handed my P45 without even the merest hint of a "thanks for all your hard work". 

The thing is a sincere thank you from my boss for being not only his secretary.. his pa... his social events co-ordinator and his wife... mother.. big brother and taxi driver whenever the need arose would have been nice.  Instead of a nice thank you... I was handed my wage slip and my P45.  Upon opening my envelope... and when it became plainly obvious that there wasn't a penny over my anticipated wage for the month sitting in my bank account... I stopped helping.  I stopped lugging boxes around... I stopped directing operations... I stopped filling boxes... I stopped helping dig my own grave... (that's what it felt like).  I decided in a split second that I would start to care about them in just the same way that they cared about us.  I decided to not give a shit any more.  That was at about 12 noon.  Pretty much at the exact same time I walked into the office 8 years previously.

After that we pretty much just fucked about until lunchtime... then we... as in the seven members of our small group... skipped off to have our final lunch together... PJ... our accountant... is retiring rather than moving to LLF and we wanted the opportunity to say goodbye quietly... without the bosses around or the colleagues from other departments... who she didn't like.. being there.  Chinese food was consumed... in copious amounts... and it was fabulous... but honestly... the best part about it was the fact that the only people there were the people PJ wanted... no bosses... no people she didn't like... no people she had to be nice to because it was her job... just the colleagues who had become friends.

I knew I would be more upset about PJ retiring than the closure of The Firm... she has been such a good friend to me... and... as hard ass as she was... she was a lady first and foremost... the kind of lady that just isn't around any more.  None of this first name terms with clients and other solicitors.  She was always introduced as Mrs J... and always referred to herself as Mrs J... nobody outside The Firm called her by her first name and that's the way it was... and she deserved the respect that non-familiarity gave her.  She was excellent at her job... she was "The Oracle" as far as anything that happened in The Firm for the last 35 years and everyone knew that.  I'm going to miss her so much...

This morning... now working for LLF... I went in to "The Tardis" (the building LLF is in due to mysterious dark exterior and hoojness of interior) to set up my desk.  It was nice to go in during the quiet of the weekend.  No people faffing around or watching my every move... just me... Barbie... Mother and the partners of "The Firm" who are now merely consultants in a hooj melting pot of a company. 

My initial reaction is one of calm.  Looking at the systems they operate on the pc throws up no concerns.  No big surprises as far as software and technology go... though obviously the next few weeks are filled with training to ensure we know what we are doing.  When it was pointed out that as yet I don't know who I will actually be working for I asked my old boss if he knew and he responded with "Well I don't need you anymore... as I've got Barbie working longer hours" (Barbie has extended her working day by two hours and his working week is now only four days long).  I was told.. quite bluntly that I should ask to find out who I would be working for.  When I was almost at the point of ramming my fist into his face he redeemed himself by telling me that he feels that I won't be working for the department long if I don't want to.  Apparently I've excelled myself in the way I have handled the merger and my name is being bandied around as a "go to" girl and other departments want me.  See my previous post for more about this.  Hopefully something will come of it.

Whilst others appear to be really concerned about the merger... I'm not in the slightest... truth be told.  I don't know why and I know that's going to come back and bite me in the ass... but heck... what else can I do?  Panic?

OK... Harry Connick Junior has just said he's attracted to strong and independent women... I'm off to pack my bags for New Orleans... that boy needs me... pfffft to Jill Goodacre....